Title: Shalom Haver: You Have To Keep Living
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no, please don't.
Categories: SAR
Keywords: MSR, cancerfic, character death, AU
Spoilers: Cancer arc
Archive: YES, where ever it might end up is fine as
long as the headers stay with it.
Summary: Part of the Shalom Haver series which can be found at
http://rosfics.tripod.com/rosfic/id10.html
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, they all
belong to CC and 1013 and FOX...no infringement is
intended...
Authors Notes: Tried to sleep without music...bad idea...I ended up thinking 
instead. Thought about my brother and how he's been handling everything, and 
what he might have gone through when he went in to see our mother after she
had already died - yes, he knew she was dead - he just wanted to say his 
final goodbye.
Dedications: To my mom.

~*~
~*~

Mulder hugged her lifeless body; kissed her hoping he could breathe life back 
into her lifeless body. 

They were understanding. Mrs. Scully and the doctors gave him all the time he 
needed with her. 

He needed to make sure she was gone, to make sure there was no life left in 
her. To be certain they weren't going to bury Scully when she still had more 
left to give.

Through his tears of desperation he shook her cold body. "Scully, wake up." 
He pleaded with her. "Come on Scully, get up." He begged her. She didn't 
budge. His tears rolled off his face and onto hers. He stared, watching her, 
hoping that she'd make some indication that she'd felt the tears land on her 
face. None came.  "Scully?" he asked softly, thinking that his desperate tone 
was scaring her into not answering. He placed his head on her chest, looking 
for a heartbeat. He found none. "No, Scully, come on, get up, I had you big 
time, right? That's what you were going to say? Come on, get up." He 
implored. "Scully, you can't leave me!" he yelled as she violently shook her 
deceased body. 

"Fox." Scully's mother said as she walked into the room.
He quit shaking her and she fell back to the bed. The tears flowed freely 
down both their faces.
She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I love you." He whispered. "You can't leave me."

He angrily wiped away his tears as he moved away from her body, keeping his 
vigil, wishing she'd wake up and say it was all a joke. Or that she had to 
fake her death like he did a few years back, but that she was alive and well.

~*~

They came to take her body away. At first he adamantly refused, still keeping
his faith in her strong will to live, not willing to believe that the cancer 
had beaten her where flukemonsters, liver-eating mutants, aliens, and the 
like couldn't stop her. 

They insisted on taking her away from him.
He drew his gun on them ordering them to step away from Scully and leave the 
room.
They left the room, only to re-enter, this time accompanied by Skinner, who 
had arrived shortly after the phone call had awoken him. 
He talked Mulder into lowering his weapon and handing it over, ordering him 
to take a leave of absence, for as long as he deemed necessary.
He held Mulder back as they took Scully's body.

"NO!" Mulder yelled. "You can't let them take her." Sobs wracked his body as 
he continued "She's coming back. She will be back. She can't leave me."

Mrs. Scully's wrapped her arms around him, offering as much comfort as she 
could.

"It'll be all right Fox." She soothed. "Dana's in a better place now." She 
said, trying to convince herself of it as well.

~*~

The funeral was the next day.

~*~

There weren't many people there. Only Mulder, her mother, Skinner, and the 
Gunmen; the only people whom she still had contact with.
It was a short ceremony, saying what needed to be said, doing what needed to 
be done. They watched the coffin be buried, all shedding silent tears. 

Mulder disappeared after the funeral. He needed to grieve by himself.

~*~

It had been a week and a half since they had all last seen or heard from him.

He was at home. The lights were out. The TV was on. The blinds were closed.

He sat on his couch staring into space but not seeing what was on the screen.
All he could think about was Scully and the promise he had made her. He 
didn't know if he could keep it. But he knew he had to. He promised. To 
Scully. He fell asleep.

~*~

She had appeared to him in his dream. She had told him he had to keep living.
If not for himself, then for her. Her life had ended too soon, there was 
more to be done, more conspiracy to be uncovered, more truth to be revealed. 
If he didn't do it, who would?

He got up off of the couch and got dressed. He was on his way to see Skinner.

~*~

"Are you sure you're ready to come back?" AD Skinner asked him.
"I have to keep living." He replied.

~*~
~*~

The End.