Title: Shalom Haver: Ein Orr
Author: Rotem Shahar
Feedback: no.
Spoilers: Christmas Carol, Emily
Category: SAR
Keyword: MSR, Character Death, AU
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 
1013, and FOX. No infringement is intended.
Summary: Part of the Shalom Haver series which can be found at
http://rosfics.tripod.com/rosfic/id10.html
Notes: Ein Orr is also Hebrew, it means there is no light. It's from a song 
by Achinoam Nini called Nocturno. My mom used to listen to this song all the 
time while she was ironing or folding laundry or whenever. A different song 
on the cd popped into my head two nights ago and wouldnt leave me alone, so I 
raided the cd collection and took a bunch of cd's that she's always listen 
to. I've had this cd in the cd player ever since.

~*~
~*~

He felt the darkness envelope him. He was drowning in it. He welcomed it.

~*~

It had been another false lead. Another one of many.

~*~

The Gunmen had gotten a tip about the whereabouts of his sister. They were 
weary. Unsure of its reliability.

They told him anyway, realizing this was a mistake too late. They could no 
longer do anything about it.

~*~

He left their headquarters in a hurry, not heeding their warnings, needing to 
find out the truth. 

A man had spotted his sister in Boulder, Colorado, staying at a resort near 
the park. He said that he'd make sure she'd stay there until someone came to 
verify her identity.

He booked the next flight possible and went to his apartment to gather a few 
neccessities.

The flight passed with feelings of dread, anxiety, anticipation and fear.

What if she didnt recognize him?
What if she did?
What if she didnt want to see him?
What if she did?
What if she didnt want to be part of his life?
What if she did?
What if she didnt hate him for not being able to protect her all those years 
ago?
What if she did?

What if it wasnt her?
What if it was?

What if she missed him? Missed being part of his life. Missed talking to him,
growing up with him, seeing him every day.
What if she didnt?

He didnt know which scared him more.

~*~

He'd been through this before. Many times. Each false lead had felt so right. 
He was so sure that they had found her this time. That he'd know the truth. 
That his search for his sister would finally be over.

He hadnt lost hope.

~*~

He was upset. Frustrated. Angry.

They  had tried to warn him. He hadnt listened. They'd attempted to tell him 
that they didnt know how reliable the information was. He hadnt listened. 
They wanted him to wait a little bit longer before doing anything, so they 
could determine if it was true or not. He hadnt listened.

He vowed to listen to the next time.

He didnt think he could handle another false lead. False hope. More heartache.

~*~

Scully.

He yearned for her. He wanted to be with her.

She always knew what to do; how to make him feel better, even if she didnt 
know what was wrong. She could cure anything.

He missed her.

~*~
~*~

The End.