Title: Breaking The Silence Author: Rotem Shahar Feedback: LaughsR@prodigy.net Keywords: Original Story, Character Death Summary: What's a girl to do? ~~~~ She was dead. At least she thought she was; dead but still among the living - unfeeling, numb, unaware of her surroundings. Her body was functioning but her mind had shut down, unable to deal with everything. Everyone was outside, crowded around the burial plot. Some were sitting, others were standing; there weren't enough chairs. Rain clouds gathered in the sky, crashing together, ominously lighting up the sky. No rain fell. She stood and sat, bowed and straightened, doing it automatically, following the prayers of the funeral service. Unsure of her beliefs, she still needed the never changing ritual of prayer - something stable in her life. She reflected back on the past few days as the rabbi and cantor chanted. ~~~~ "Mom!" the girl called out, "I can't find Spooky!" she continued, referring to the family kitten. "I'm sure he's here somewhere," her mother replied, brushing her off. "No, I looked. I haven't seen him since last night. He didn't even come when I put food in his bowl this morning before leaving for school!" the girl yelled back, missing the kitten. "Have you asked your sister? She might be holding him in her room." She stormed into her sister's room, demanding information. "What did you do with Spooky?" Her sister shrugged. "I haven't seen him." She huffed and left, confronting her mother again. "She doesn't know where he is. Mom, we need to go find him." Her mother then relented. "We'll go search the animal shelter, you stay here and look around the neighborhood. I'm sure he'll appear." The girl's mother and sister promptly left the house, leaving her alone. She took a walk around, the entire time calling for the kitten. She returned home, kitten nowhere to be found. Sitting down on the couch, she waited, not knowing what else to do. After sitting in silence for thirteen minutes, wondering what was taking her mother and sister so long, she jumped when the phone rang. "Hello?" she asked. She listened intently for a few seconds, grunting yes and no in response to the questions asked. Finally, she dropped the phone back into its cradle and stared at it for a few minutes, not quite believing what had just happened. After a few seconds she got up and dashed to her car, driving to the hospital as fast as she could. When she arrived the doctors told her that her mother had suffered the brunt of the trauma and they couldn't save her. She had died on the operating table. Her sister was in critical condition and was in the ICU upstairs. Her sister had been bleeding internally, but they were able to stop it, along with resetting her broken leg, arm, and wrapping her chest in a bandage to keep her from jostling her broken ribs. The seat belt had done some damage, but it would have been much worse if she hadn't have worn it at all. She would have flown out the windshield. The doctors assured her they'd done everything they possibly could, and now all they could do was wait and see if her body could handle the stress and injuries inflicted upon it. The police whisked her away for questioning and to tell her what exactly had happened after the doctor finished giving his assessments. "Where's your father?" was the first question she was asked. "Dead. A few years ago he had a heart attack." "As you heard from the doctors," the policeman started, veering the conversation in a different direction, "your mother took the brunt of the impact. A car ran a red light going 60 miles per hour and slammed into them. The driver died instantly." She didn't know what to tell them. "We were trying to find my cat." They sat there, no one speaking. Quietly, she got up and walked away, intent on finding her sister. When she entered her sister's hospital room, she was unprepared for the sight awaiting her. All the bandages and tubes and machines...she didn't know what any of them were there for or what they did...it was a frightening image. She couldn't accept the thought that her sister was alive because of something the machines were doing, she wouldn't accept it. She'd already lost her mother that night; she couldn't lose her sister as well. She sat through the night, watching her sister's chest rise with the rhythmic pumping of the machines. Nurses came in every so often to check her vital signs; once in a while they'd make a note of something and leave the room without as much as saying a word. At three forty seven a.m., when it was evident that her sister was not about to wake up, she left the room to find a pay phone, calling a family friend and telling them what had happened. They had promptly arrived at the hospital, telling her not to worry about anything, that they'd take care of it all. She didn't go to school the next day, staying with her sister, watching the life slowly seep out of her. When she couldn't stand being there anymore, watching her sister die, listening to the entire hospital staff apologizing to her, she left. She drove for hours, no destination in mind. Realizing her gas tank was three quarters empty, and realizing she'd driven farther than she'd expected, she looked for a place to stop before continuing. Traveling through the streets of the town, she came upon a small, quiet beach. There were people there, all keeping to themselves, preferring to spend time with their friends and family than run around the beach. She brought a pad of paper and pen with her and sat on the beach and wrote: "Sand flows between my toes, wind crunches through my hair, air rattles and rumbles as the clouds break against the sky. Birds cackle, running to safety, people fly for cover when droplets of water hit their face. Waves crisscross each other in circles." The rain started as a soft drizzle, water droplets dancing in the air and floating into the water. "I walk out from the cover smiling as the water hits my skin, enjoying the comfort it provides. Hair swirls around my face as I approach the ocean. Shedding clothing while I walk, I dip my feet into the salt, reveling in the feel of wetness on my body." Rain poured out of the sky faster, the droplets increasing in size. "The waves crash over me pulling me deeper into the water, farther and farther from the land. Willingly, I go away from the buildings, away from the people. away from civilization... Where I can die in peace." She was soaking wet when she got up and walked to her car. Sitting in the drivers seat, she threw the pen down on the floor and angrily wiped her eyes as tears unwittingly fell. She left the beach, giving herself enough time to get home, shower, change, and be on time for the funeral service. ~~~~ We never did find Spooky, she mused as the Rabbi finished speaking and the service ended. People rose, sharing their memories, praising the dead. She only half-listened, her own memories of her family drifting through her mind. The rabbi then asked if she wanted to say something, to give everyone some closure. She shook her head 'no.' The rabbi sighed, wanting her to speak, but not wanting to upset her. He took a shovel and placed dirt upon the coffin, handing the shovel to whomever wanted to say their final goodbye. Not staying for the oneg, not wanting people to express their false sympathies, not wanting to explain herself, she slipped out of her chair and left as the people continued to bury her family. Many of the temple members had called and stopped by she found out when she got home, offering their condolences, but she hadn't been there to answer the phone or their incessant knocking at the door. She hadn't been ready to see or talk to anyone and was sure someone would say something if she stayed. It had only been two days - two days since her world collapsed, falling into bits and pieces around her, leaving her scared, confused, and tired. She hadn't spoken to anyone since; soon, she told herself, soon. Driving home, her mind wandered. What would she say? When? To whom? She wanted to talk to her best friend, but didn't know what to say, where to start, or even how to tell her that she needed her. Luckily, she didn't have to. When she pulled into the driveway her best friends car was there and she was patiently waiting at the door. Wanting to avoid a confrontation, but not having many other options, she slowly turned the car off and walked towards the door, not looking at her best friend. Wordlessly, she unlocked the door and entered the house, disappearing from her friends view. She had left the door open, an invitation for her friend to enter the house, an invitation to talk. Her friend entered the house, closing the door after her and followed the path she knew her friend had taken. The best friend saw the girl lying down on her bed, staring listlessly into space and sat down next to her, hugging her and stoking her hair. They stayed like that for a while, the girl trying not to cry and her friend trying to comfort her. Finally, tears fell. The girl sobbed into her best friends shoulder, releasing all the hurt and pain and suffering and anguish she had kept inside. As the tears subsided, the girl half-smiled at her friend and whispered two words, "Thank you." ~~~ The End.